It’s no (pun alert) cock-and-bull story, but one of the biggest hair-health headlines to hit London in recent years involved the debut of, ahem, bull semen as the long-sought elixir for dry, lifeless, limp hair. You might think that your present hair conditioner is the Rolls Royce of hair grooming; well, think again. In 2009, when bull semen first made a splash on the damaged-hair-treatment scene in London—and in the rest of the civilized world shortly thereafter, hair care slid into an unexpected, but welcome paradigm shift. Since then, hair and hair grooming have not been the same.
Visit a cosmetology school to verify.
It’s okay, you can do a double take right now. Bull semen? Yep. That all-natural ingredient that makes baby cows possible? Yep. That special substance that has the smart set and beautifully rich folks stampeding to top beauty salons to get lathered on their lovely locks? Yep.
To be sure, the American market hasn’t exactly been bullish (yet) on the new hair-treatment product, but that’s only because bull-semen hair treatment is still a bit too expensive ($90-$138 a pop) for most of the herd. But the willing donors, the Aberdeen Angus bulls, presumably aren’t complaining since the demand for their donations, notwithstanding the expected “ews” and the obligatory “ohs,” is high. And here’s why:
Bull semen, according to the beauty experts, is chock-full of protein. This bovine protein added to katira plant root extract supercharges the naturally occurring protein in human hair to produce a full-bodied, extraordinarily silky head of hair. The treatment involves thoroughly massaging the protein potion into the hair (after shampooing, of course), putting the hair under heat, and then as a finishing touch, placing the hair under a blustery blow out. The entire procedure usually takes just 45 minutes.
The tony tonic tops all other hair conditioners, if London is to be believed. It certainly has the unequivocal vote of Hari’s, a top London salon and the namesake of owner Hari Salem. Salem averred to media when bull semen was new on the market that organic exotics such as wild avocado and truffle oil can’t hold a candle to the bovine byproduct as far as instantly producing shiny, luscious, odorless hair. The salon is the head exponent of bull-semen hair treatment in London; it should know B from bull’s foot.
Now it isn’t just hair that benefits from the wonders of bull semen. In reports from Croatia and Japan, it seems that bull semen enjoys a reputation as a skin revitalizer. The two countries, apparently taking the bull by the you-know-what, in fact have used it for years as a vital agent in anti-aging preparations—although marketing considerations have made it necessary for their cosmetics companies to gloss over the true pedigree of their products.
The trend of using animal semen in cosmetics may have had its provenance outside these countries though and may have actually begun in the freezers of the Norway-based company Maritex, which is the main player in the use of Cod spermatozoa in cosmetic products. Animal semen, it turns out, has to be kept in deep freeze to preserve its potency as an ingredient in beauty-care products. It’s cross species so it’s no different with bull semen.
The Angus bulls are all cool with that—though, as one can just imagine, probably not any of the cows.